The Magical World of Thai Baked Goods

Today's lesson in bizarre Thai pastries is an extra super double blowout edition, featuring two very unusual baked treats from the local Yamazaki, a Japanese bakery.

First we begin with a pastry called, and I'm not joking here, the Weiner Kids Donut:

Yes, Kids, it's the snack you've been waiting for: part savory, part cripy sweet, this is essentially a hot dog (the aforementioned "Weiner") encased in dough, rolled in bread crumbs, deep-fried, and generously topped with a dollop of sweet ketchup. The thing was so oily that if you stuck a wick in it you could probably use it to read by for a couple weeks.

The next example is the ambitiously-titled Crab Pizza Danish:

OK, there are obviously a lot of faults with this one, but my main objection to the Crab Pizza Danish is why try to do so much with one pastry? I can (sort of) conceive of a Crab Danish, or even a Pizza Danish, or even more so a Crab Pizza, but why on earth would somebody try to combine all there of these disparate elements? And what's with those toppings:

It's a bit hard to see here, but you've got imitation crab, pineapple, "cheese" and ketchup, all mingling on the same platform. I almost chose its neighbor, the Corn Pizza Danish, but felt that imitation crab was something I couldn't pass up.